A series of auditions, not failures, for what should have a place in our lives

High level summary: Everything that we try can be thought of as a “test” or “audition” for it to be in our lives, and it’s okay if certain things don’t work out. By letting one thing in, it means that we are not letting in everything else, so we should be picky about what we let in.

I’ve recently been thinking about things that I have tried and failed at…or at least things that haven’t worked out the way I had planned or hoped. I tend to have a lot of these, as I imagine most others also do.

Throughout the course of time, we try many things – some work, and some don’t. Some play out out in unexpectedly good ways, and others that we thought would have worked, don’t work out at all.

It’s easy to think of these things as “failures.” I often feel like that in my case – whenever something doesn’t work out with a project, person, friendship, experience, or something else, I feel a profound sense of loss and sadness. I often start wondering why it went wrong, what I could have done differently, and why I did what I did. I question if it was my fault.

But as I’ve thought about it, maybe that isn’t the case. All of these “trials” are like auditions in different aspects of life (and not us auditioning for things, but rather, auditions for these things to be present in our lives). Each “audition” provides us with information on what does and does not work for us, and gives us valuable data points for future decision-making.

Ultimately, it is all part of the process of figuring out what belongs in our lives – that is, what deserves our effort and mental space. Every single thing that we let in means that we don’t let in the whole universe of other alternatives. That means that we should be picky, because by saying yes to one thing, we are saying no to everything else.

And so maybe we should be thankful for, rather than sad about, the things that don’t work out. They save us time and effort.

Think of all of the things that we try, people we interact with, as auditions, not failures on our end. They are simply auditioning to be in our lives – and some will pass, while the majority will not. And that’s okay.